11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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