The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
