I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
