it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
