College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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