Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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