people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
