Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
