did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
