rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
