don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
