Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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