we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
