I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
