Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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