I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My cat gives me a boner
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
