Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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