chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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