I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
