I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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