i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
