If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize