Porn is love you can see.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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