are you still at the devil's house?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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