wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
