Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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