there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize