I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
