I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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