Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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