I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
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He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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