Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
