she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
