My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
is wine microwaveable?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
