enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
