Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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