I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
