She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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