I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
