We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
