Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize