guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
