I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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