Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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