Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
