It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
