I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize