I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
