my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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