i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've blown a few things in my day
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
