clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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