I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
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Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
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This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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