and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
