She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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