Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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