well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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