I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
