shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize