I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
