Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize