Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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