You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize