My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Randomize