hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
